Hello Ameriki

So I am currently sitting in the Charles de Gaulle Airport in a hazy fog. I've spent the past few months living in a 3rd World country, as a Water/Sanitation Volunteer in the Peace Corps. Basically every night as I scratched myself to sleep (due to all of my mosquito bites) I drifted to a dream, where I was at home and wondering how I got there. Although I could swear that once again I am dreaming, I am constantly awakened by my reality. Due to illness beyond my control, I am being Medically Separated from PC. When I heard this news I was immediately in shock, and I suppose I still am. The problem with living in Mali with basically any illness is the harshness of the climate and conditions that one lives in while serving. Mali beats up your body, and basically every day one wakes up with some new issue, that seems quite questionable. Peace Corps Mali is one of the most difficult programs, and at the same time, one of the most rewarding. 

I'm honored to be a part of Peace Corps, and strongly believe in what they stand for. Peace Corps is not an organization that throws money at a situation, or (in my field) goes in and builds a water pump for the people. Peace Corps is all about sustainability, which is what makes it unique and successful. Peace Corps teaches their volunteers the skills that they need to be successful, and then the volunteer teaches their village how to help themselves.

I am so thankful for this experience, and I pray that I made some what of a difference in other peoples lives during my time of service. 

My life will be forever changed from this experience, in more ways than one. Of course, after living with a family in severe poverty, I learn to appreciate the things that I have in my life, material wise, but more importantly being away from the ones I love I have learned to never take them for granted, and to live each day as if it were my last, never taking a moment, with those people, for granted. My experience in Mali gave me the opportunity to serve with people who had somewhat different views than me, and I believe that that experience helped me significantly as well. 

I am definitely going to miss those people, especially my 'Goodfellas,' who strongly impacted my life. Each and every person within my stage group is very dear to me and I am going to miss them dearly. Although I am leaving Mali, I am not worried about my village, or the other villages with PCV's, because I know that Peace Corps will do a fine job replacing me, and as for the other villages, I know that my fellow 'Goodfellas' (and the other volunteers in country) are going to do amazing things. 

I learned a lot in my short few months. It was really neat to see how the logistics of Peace Corps work, as well as how all of the American's within the country relate to each other. I learned how to make bricks, and treat water, dig wells, and build a soak pit/wash station..oh and how to speak Bambara (intermediately). 

I found out just how wonderful the people of Mali are, and how to adapt to their culture. I also found out how scary and difficult it is to physically be a Peace Corps Volunteer.

To say that I am not happy that I am going home would be a lie, because I have a lot to look forward to. I can NOT wait to see my fiance, and my friends and family…and Tinners of course!!!

…But I am terrified, not knowing my next move. I am excited to see what life has in store for me, and I am thankful for this experience and what it has taught me (so far.)

Thanks for everyones support throughout my journey…I could not have done it without you*

All my Love…~Ramata Sogoba!! PEACE*

Farewell August...

I can't believe that today is the final day of August...
I also can't believe that Western has started back to school, and for the first time since I was three or four, I did not start school :( "they really do grow up so fast..."
I've survived three whole months in Mali,  West Africa, and although I've traveled abroad many times, the longest I had ever been gone was three weeks, and during my trip(s), never was I ever forced to use the bathroom in a hole in the ground. Mali has played a number on my physical state, while beating up my mental state, and kicking my emotional state really hard, where it hurts.
But I've survived, and I am certainly alive. Truth be told, I am more alive now than I have ever been in the past. I've pushed my limits, more than I ever thought was possible, and at the end of my pushing I couldn't just open a carton of Ben and Jerry's or cry on the shoulder of a dear friend... While in Mali, I have been forced to sit down and get to know myself...sounds pretty ridiculous (and believe me it is) but at the end of the day, its nice to be able to say "I know myself a little better today, than I did yesterday..."
A friend of mine (shout out to SamKat07 ;) told me one day that when her father asked "why on earth is Ashton doing this?" She replied "Idk..I guess she's going off to find herself..." At first I was slightly offended, because that was not the reason I applied, but in the end, thats exactly what I have gotten out of the experience. I pray to God that I have made a difference in these peoples lives since I have been here, but only he knows the answer to that one... however these past three months have really helped me to place MY life into perspective! Have I found myself?? Well..I was never really missing?? But I definitely believe that this experience has made me find the person that I want to be, and more importantly the person that God wants me to be...
My suggestion to people is definitely not to run off to Africa if you feel that you've misplaced your mind for the day, or my personal favorite- the mother (in the movies) who leaves her husband and kids behind to go out and 'find herself'...
Through my experience I have just found that these 'quiet times' that I always learned about in church and always THOUGHT that I was doing are truly magical!!..Although mine were forced at times, they were exactly what I needed, in the moment and always...
Its true what they say...When you have no strength left to stand, kneel...
The past three months have been difficult, and miserable at times for sure, but they have also been the most rewarding three months of my life!!!* I have my mother, my dear friends and family, and every sweet person from my high school cheer coach, to my kindergarten teacher and all those in between to thank for it...but most of all I've had God.
I've always considered myself close to God, but I've never been in the situation where I truly have no one else to turn to, and its amazing to know that he is always there, and he is always going to be there!! Please continue to Pray for me as I make my next moves, but mainly pray for the people of Mali and my fellow volunteers as they impact the world!!
All my Love From West Africa* PEACE*

God willing...

Life is a funny thing. A funny thing that brings you surprises when you least expect them, and in the blink of an eye anything could happen. Whoever first said, "If you want to make God laugh tell him your plans" must have been a pretty insightful individual. When you think about it, I guess its pretty arrogant to even make plans altogether. Here is where, I think, the Malians have really adopted the proper way of making plans. A Malian never tells you he will come to an appointment, or see you tomorrow, without saying "If God wills it," at the end. How true is that? 

Sometimes it can be aggravating, because an appointment will be missed for the simple fact that they just didn't want to show up, but they give the ultimate excuse of saying "God did not will that today!!" Thus who are you to disagree??

In Life nothing is guaranteed. You never know what tomorrow will bring. Yes, you should make plans with good intentions, but who knows what will actually come of your plans, except God. I myself go back and forth with important (important to me, anyway) decisions in my life, but the truth is if it is meant to be it will be, and if it is not-it won't. 

This I suppose is where I tend to mess up a lot of the time. Most people enjoy being in control of their own lives, me especially, but although God lets us make our own decisions, he has the ultimate say. Often when I pray I ask specifically for God to do me a favor, or for something specific to happen in my life, when really I should be praying for the right thing to happen, because lets face it, thats whats going to happen. 

So I guess if we stop trying to control our lives, and start accepting the fact that the right thing is going to happen, we will live much more contently. All we have to do is expect the worst, hope for the best, and know that everything happens for a reason...and no matter what keep praying, and holding tight to your faith. 

Yesterday there was a bombing in Nigeria, and all I could think about was how UN-Peaceful this world is....

But we must not give up on mankind, and we can't expect some drastic change over night... Instead make a difference where you can, and trust that God is taking care of the rest*

missing you...

First let me say, Happy Birthday to my dear friend Mery Fane!! Days like today are days that make me miss home a little bit more, because I hate missing special events in my friends and families lives. Don't get me wrong, God willing, I will be able to experience plenty of birthdays in my friends and families lives, but weddings and babies being born are important moments that I hate not to be a part of. I knew this came with the Peace Corps territory. Missing home and special occasions and all of the luxuries that don't quite exist here in West Africa- its just part of this experience.
Today, while sitting around relaxing with my Peace Corps friends, we listened to a James Taylor album and all I could think of was my dad. He loves filling our home with music, and plays it pretty loudly. Christmas time is the best at my house, because my dad is really good at getting us in the holiday spirit. So, today I guess I miss my dad, and the simple things things that he does for our family. Being here I am constantly missing big things like air conditioning, and food, and my fiance, but lately I have missed the small things that make my life unique and special to me. I miss my brother and his strange sense of humor, and I guess I miss him constantly making fun of me. I miss my baby sister and her constant hugs, and encouraging words. I miss cuddling with my little Tinner butt, and her kisses. I talk to the woman everyday, but I miss my mother. I miss my friends, and I miss the opportunity of going to the parties, and going on trips with them. I miss America. Its funny, here I am so proud of being an American, but at the same time, I wonder how I got so lucky to live in such an incredible country. Being a Republican is extremely difficult in the Peace Corps, because I am certain that I am the first one to become a PCV. I've learned to just keep my opinions to myself, because 1. I am very outnumbered. 2. There is no reason to start up conflict with people for no reason (If they wanted my opinion they would ask for it!)
Its interesting serving with people who are so much different than the people in my life in America. I think its important to meet people with different points of views than yourself. You can learn a lot from other people, but most of all I think it is important to find out why people believe the way that they do. As long as you hold true to your beliefs and your value systems, you should be able to have a civil conversation with anyone. You can't expect people to change their views just because you think that its right, because you wouldn't want them to force their views upon you!!*
I appreciate everyone I have met, and I respect all of their viewpoints, but I also miss my family and friends who share much of the same values with me.
.....Being at the stage house, it is easy at times to watch your DVD's and eat your decent food, and forget what you were going through just a few days before. This is important because if I didn't have that I would go Craaazy! (I'm probably a little more crazy now, than I was when I left) But its nice to have this opportunity. Don't get me wrong, I am still very much in Africa, with no cool air, and bugs and rats running around, and some seriously bad gash/bite on my back that I woke up with, and who knows what got ahold of me last night...(i'm afraid I don't want to know..)
But for now I am enjoying my ceiling fans, and facebook time....
However now and for the rest of my service, I miss all of you, and I hope you are well :)

The Right Way

So happy to be in San with electricity, internet, and the company of other fellow volunteer! Tomorrow we are hosting a Cops and Robbers 'mixer' which means volunteers from all over Mali are coming to our stage house to get together. I am enjoying the opportunity to catch up with friends and family, and soaking up the encouraging words from you all that make my work here possible.
Tonight we went to a local spot to hangout in San, and we were discussing the difficulties that we all face while living here. We clearly all face a tremendous amount of obstacles, and stressful situations, but my friend Lyle and I had a special type of problem that other volunteers had never really thought about. Lyle and I have a life threatening condition called-Lefthandedism....haha...jk! But being Left Handed here is definitely a controversial issue.
Lets face it, it is a Right Handed World. In America I struggle with being left handed on a regular basis, due to the lack of left handed desks in classrooms, and the lack of left handed scissors-anywhere!! Being left handed has always been a struggle for me, I would say, because my no one in my family is left handed, so my friends father had to teach me how to tie my shoes, and throw a ball. Don't get me wrong, my life IN AMERICA isn't forever changed because I write and eat with my left hand, but my life in Mali-IS!!!
The Malian People, like many other people in 3rd world countries, have chosen to veto the whole toilet paper concept and wipe with their lefthand, so for lack of better words, in Mali, the left hand might as well be called the PoopHand!!~and to make matters worse, most people here do not wash their hand!
The problem here is that people do not use silverware, so they eat with their right hands, and because I choose not to completely inconvenience myself, the people of Mali look at me like I am the most disgusting individual on the planet.~and to them, I am!
They can't stand it that I eat with my left hand, and they can't stand it that I write with my left hand. On many occasions they yell at me to change, and multiple times they have taken my pen out of my left hand and placed it in my right!
One time I was blowing my nose WITH A KLEENEX, with both hands, and the people were appalled that I would blow my nasty nose with my good right hand!!~Oh Mali!
So for all of you Left handed people out there, I feel your pain!~Especially now! Be strong and proud of your uniqueness!
I am choosing to use this as an opportunity to let people know that they must wash their hands (because this eliminates the grossness of the situation) and the fact that it is okay to be different!!
I would love to change the left handed stereotype within my village, allowing children to be able to use their preferred hand, to make what should be simple tasks in life, simple again for Left-Handed Malians!! Knowledge is power!! in this situation or in any other..Your way may be the right way for you, but not always the right way for someone else! Impact peoples lives, but try your hardest to make it for the better! Give someone the knowledge they need to improve their lives, but let them make the decision that best suits them, and with the help of God and their own moral compass, hopefully it will be the right one!!
Love each other!!~and don't be so quick to judge!!*
All my Love, from Mali to America!!* PEACE*

Life at Site

Life at Site has been pretty successful thus far. I have had my fair share of ups and downs already, but surprisingly I have had more ups. These past two weeks have not been too bad (as far as the loneliness goes.) My friend who lives a few villages over, came and visited me one day, and we (he) cooked rice and curry, which was a nice change from the constant stale bread, and United States sent Jif Peanut Butter, complements of Lisa Elmore. I have read two books (BOOKS, Not Magazines), from cover to cover, which does not sound like big news, unless you are my Micha Elmore, and in that case she has probably fallen out of her chair, while reading this. I have gone on one run (which if I am being totally honest was more of a brisk walk) through the outskirts of my village. I have written A LOT, but mostly in my 'Jared Journal' (I'm on page 147, so who knows if he will actually read it, because basically it is just the longest letter ever written...) I have battled a mamba, which for those of you who don't know is one of the most deadly and vicious snakes alive (it was a baby, but still one bite and I would have been dunzo!!-and my homologue may or may not have been the one who actually killed it!!) I have spent many nights watching my dear F-R-I-E-N-D-S, Rachel, Ross, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe swap interesting stories around the coffee table at 'Central Perk' (on my laptop, which I spend the better half of my day charging with a car battery) and due to the constant down pours that this fine Rainy Season has brought me, I have waded through far more BO-JI (poop water) than I would ever care to admit!! I went my longest length of time without batheing- EIGHT DAYS...(I blame the discovery of a febreeze bottle at the bottom of my suitcase, and the odor masking aroma that comes from my Off Bug Spray...) I know I should be ashamed, but truth be told I was happier walking around in my filth, than hovering over a nasty 'Bo' Hole!! I went to church with my ja-tigi (dad type person) which was a neat experience. I danced and sang along with the women and had a great time, but was constantly distracted by all of the children staring at me, trying to figure out why there was a ghost in their sanctuary...

This past week Peace Corps sent me a private language tutor, who helped me better integrate into my village. We spent every hour together, so we obviously got to know each other really well. I really enjoyed her company, and learned a lot more about the Malian culture and tried to educate her as much as possible on life in America. She can't believe that I don't cook (which becomes harder each day..) because women here spend all day doing chores such as cooking for their husbands and twenty children, and washing their clothes. I like to explain that in America my father does the cooking, and women and men take turns washing clothes (they think this is funny/crazy!!) and they think I am incredibly lazy, which maybe I am! 

Yesterday my tutor said something that really stuck with me! Due to their religious beliefs, the men of Mali can have up to four wives. My friend/tutor is engaged, and said that her future husband only wants one wife, and I said that was great, because thats what she wanted, but then she got sad and said that just because he says that, doesn't mean he wont change his mind :( i pray he keeps his promise to her)

***On a more positive note, Jared's sister gave birth to a sweet, beautiful, healthy baby boy! Finn Thomas Botkins! I so wish I was there to meet my (future) nephew/ring bearer, but I guess I will have to wait!!***

All my Love, From Mali to America!!* Peace*

Welp...Wish Me Luck*

Welp, this is it....
I am enjoying my last night in the Stage house of Segou, getting my fill of the fabulous luxuries of air conditioning, wifi, and electricity. I am about as nervous as I was on my plane ride from Nashville to Washington DC, thinking 'What have I gotten myself into?'
Tomorrow morning I will be installed into my aprx. 4,000 person village. I am officially moving to the place that I will spend the rest of my service at. I am extremely nervous in many different ways, and probably not even sure what all I should be nervous about yet.
My biggest worry, I would say, is loneliness.  
Its funny how you can be surrounded by so many people and yet still be so lonely.
It may sound stupid, but I am definitely going to miss being able to speak English.
I am going to be insanely hot, and extremely bored at times. I am not going to have a clue what to do with myself, or what to do with my time....Yes, I can go for a walk, or write, or read a book, but that stuff only takes up so much time.
I am concerned about many aspects of this new step of Peace Corps, however I am also really excited about what my next move has in store for me. I joined Peace Corps to help people, and to also test my limits, and make myself a better person. Though I will be lonely most of the time, I will be able to spend my time getting to know the village and figuring out ways to help them, help themselves.
During this time I plan to focus on my relationship with God, and grow closer to him through prayer and scripture.
Today I was talking with another PCV about our time here in Mali, and I said that I was glad that I had completed Homestay because I had become a stronger person, and she corrected me by saying that we all have this strength in us, we just aren't able to see what we are capable of, until we are in these situations.
Who knows what I am capable of, and What I am not...I guess over the next few weeks/months/years, I will definitely see what obstacles, when faced with, I can overcome.
Please keep me in your prayers over the next few weeks, because one thing is for sure, that without God I wont be able to achieve anything*