Worth it

Its the night before I leave to go back to HomeStay. I came back to my hut to sleep but i am not quite sleepy enough. Life is good right now because i am laying under my fan and my caladryl lotion is pretending to work for the moment. I can hear Zacharia playing his guitar, as some of the crew stays up swapping stories around a bon fire. Right now I am feeling like I can do this. I feel like I am where I am supposed to be at this point in my life. I feel as if every little thing I have done throughout my life has somehow gotten me to this place (the place i constantly question 'why are you doing this to yourself')…Todays 'field trip' kind of helped place things into perspective. I am getting back to the place that 'Methloquine' took me out of. 

For the past few years of my life I have watched commercial after commercial and posters and ads all around of these 'starving children in africa,' and all I see when I look at these pictures are the kids looking at me saying 'why am i not worth it?' I took this assignment to devote my time to telling these children 'you are worth it!' 

Water is a basic human need and every person on the planet should be entitled to CLEAN WATER!! The stuff running out of your faucet that we all take for granted is a luxury for so many people around the world. Children die every day from what Dr. Don calls 'Mr. D'…So as a Water Sanitation Extension Agent, I am trying to Extend Clean Water to the people of Mali…

As for my family and friends, you are helping the people of Mali too!!~This is the hardest thing i have ever done!! I am homesick, for my mommy, my Jared, my Tinley, and you know, EVERYTHING!!! So all of you who say, 'what can i do??' you're doing it!! Your thoughts and encouraging words are what keep me going! I am so thankful for my amazing family and friends who are loving and supporting me!! YALL ARE THE BEST!!!*

Is the Worst of it over??*

So far, during my time in Mali, every day I have pretty much thought "I don't know if this is for me"...But over the past week or so, I have decided to plan trips in 'the future' to come home for vacation, so I think I may be getting out of that funk. I am starting to think of Mali as more of a home, and I have made some friendships that I know are life~long! I could not have asked for a better group of people to serve with, and although HomeStay is extremely difficult, God placed the right people there with me (even though I miss the rest of the group terribly when I am away from them.) My new 'best friends' Pamela and Zach are the glue that holds me together when I am down in the dumps and need to vent every other second, about things like a certain smell that turns your stomach, language barrier frustrations, our constant longing for cheese and sauces, and really any little thing that sets us off from time to time ;) 

Today We went on a 'field trip' to Bamako. Although my 'American Club day' was the best day yet, this day comes in at a close second. Wat/San and Education split up and went to different areas so I figured we would miss out on some things, but we actually learned a lot about Water Sanitation in Mali and ways that we can improve our Sites when we figure out where we are going. We visited a lab where they treat the water, and we spent the day in air conditioned luxury. I left my hair down for the first day since I left (It was a great hair day, today!!) We then went to a fabulous restaurant in Bamako where lots of Tubabs (White People) tend to hang out!! What did I eat?? or should you ask "WHAT DIDN'T I EAT!!!" Pamela and I split...two cokes, a LARGE cheese, mushroom, and ham pizza, a chocolate milkshake, a plate of fries with KETCHUP, a piece of cake and a bowl of ice cream!...I would skip out on dinner tonight, due to my glutinous ways at lunch, however I know I will probably go hungry for the next week, so I'll probably splurge at dinner tonight as well. :)

We leave in the morning to go back to Homestay, although I cant lie and say i miss my smelly, nasty, bug infested, hot bedroom, or the smells of Dialiakorobugu, or the lack of WIFI, I do kind of miss my family there, and I know they will be there to greet me as soon as I return. :) 

I'm not too depressed about leaving Tubaniso either, because I get to come back for the 4th of July :) (aka the most beautiful, talented, and smartest girl in the whole entire worlds 18 birthday~Micha, we get to skype on your bday ;)...and then we go back to Dialiakorobugu on the 5th, and BACK to Tubaniso next thursday July 7th!! The 7th is a HUGE day for me because I meet my 'homologue' (person who will be my work partner and the one i will trust with my life for the next 2years) and I FIND OUT MY SITE!!(which is where I will be living for the next two years)...HOORAY!!!*

When we got to Tubaniso this time, all of the current Volunteers were like, 'man yall are some tough trainees'...because we broke a record for the longest first homestay EVER! Every other group has been blessed with the opportunity to come back after like 2weeks, but because of scheduling conflicts, we had to stay THREE!!!~That may not sound like a big deal to yall, but we earned major street cred because of it!!!*

Miss yall!!*...Keep me in your prayers*xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo*   Love from Mali to America and Back*

Meth Monday

Not really sure what to write today, but I figure I should probably take advantage on the internet! Right now I am sitting inside of the cafeteria while a sand storm slowly makes its way into a thunder storm. Although it is kind of freaky, I am thankful in the fact that i am not alone in my little concrete abode around two am like usual. I become so convinced that the thunder in the distance sounds like a train,  thus it must be a tornado. I get so terrified that I put on my bicycle helmet and crawl under my bed with the cockroaches, and termites and pray. I feel silly nearly every single morning, after these shenanigans, yet my worrisome self always practices the same routine. Fear here, has taken a brand new form. In the States it seems that I am afraid of absolutely everything. Here, I have talked myself into only freaking out in life threatening situations. At home, I freak out at the sight of any type of bug; Ants, spiders, roaches you name it, i freak, but here i've decided to only freak out if the bug can kill me! One night I woke up to a three inch cock roach beside my head on my pillow, I could have gotten up and ran and thrown a hissy fit and what not, but I decided to smash it and go back to sleep.
Today is METH Monday, when we all take our Methloquine so who knows what kind of mood I will find myself in later tonight!~i will probably dream some crazy dream and hallucinate, but don't worry it is not all bad. I enjoy my vivid dreams especially when I am home in them, and with my loved ones. One night Sam, Jared, and I got arrested for God know what.~I woke up in the best mood, because I felt like I actually saw them!! Meth Mondays definitely pay a toll on us though...They really mess with our mental state, and by Tuesday we are usually super depressed and suffer from anxiety (which is not good when you're this far from home)!! I definitely need my Methloquine though, because without it Malaria would have gotten the best of me a long long time ago!!~I think I counted 100 mosquito bites today, which is definitely at the ridiculous point~AND ITCHY!
Thanks to everyone who has sent/or is sending me a care package!~for some Goodie ideas: beef jerky, tuna 'lunches to go', poptarts, sauces (any condiments), hand sanitizer, baby wipes, and pretty much any food will never get old, DVDs are ALWAYS good, and much appreciated, pictures, and letters are awesome!! i love and miss you all, especially Jared and little miss Tinley!! Hope all is well....PEACE*

THE HARD CORE

So I guess Peace Corps purposefully does not allow you to have internet at the beginning of HomeStay because the average Peace Corps Trainee would write some unfriendly things about the village they are staying in! The past three weeks have been the hardest weeks of my life! Yes, I have traveled many places and done some pretty difficult things but i guess it was much easier knowing that I only had to do these things for a short amount of time, and for the majority of my trips, I did not have a handsome fiance at home waiting for my return! Over the past three weeks I have grown immensely as a person! I have had to test limits that I did not know I could surpass. I have learned how to use the restroom in a hole while a hundred huge flies attack me, and I have mastered the techniques of bucket bath (next to the hole with the poop flies!) For those who truly know me...I JUST USED THE WORD POOP!!~This place is really changing me! I have been more sad, mad, happy, excited, nervous, anxious, and downright miserable in the last three weeks than I ever have in my life! I have experienced true HUNGER, and THIRST, and some serious homesickness!! I've had nights where I knew I would pass out from the heat, or blow away during  one of the super scary rain/wind storms that pull my tin roof up and slam it back down!
Recently I was reading the Peace Corps Wellness Handbook and discovered something that completely freaked me out!...If you know anything about the Peace Corps, you have heard about the Eastern Europe 'Posh Corps," where the circumstances are much easier than the rest of PC places. There is the 'Beach Corps' where lucky people spend their 27months on an Island like Samoa or freaking FIJI! and then there is the HARD (CORPS) that consists of four West African Countries, Mauritania, Mali, Niger, and Chad!! (NEWS FLASH: Peace Corps had pulled out of Mauritania, Niger and Chad)!!!! So here we are in the only HARD CORE country left, MALI!! and let me tell you, it is HARD CORE, two of our small 23 people group have been hospitalized, and one of our NOW 22 people group has already Early Terminated :( he is missed)!! I don't know why my pink loving, makeup wearing, bubble bath taking self wound up here, other than the fact that God has one heck of a plan for me!! So tonight, while you're eating something that doesn't have parasites in it think of me, and say a little prayer!! :) I miss and Love yaLL*

One Small Step For Man One Giant Step For Mankind

No, I did not walk on the moon today, however after leaving my home one week ago (seems like much longer) I, and the rest of the girls here are starting to freak out a little bit! The language (Bambara) is really hard to learn, and our 14 hour days are starting to pay a toll on our bodies (especially in this HEAT.) So far, no one here has really acted like they are home sick, or worried about our next few moves, because apparently we have all been holding it in. After one girl today had a minor break down, we all realized that we were all in the same boat! We go to these sessions all day long, that explain the risks of living here in Mali, and what we are supposed to do if we encounter a problem! Though these sessions are extremely significant and vitally important to our well being, they begin to wear you down after a while. We start the day talking about the symptoms of Malaria, and the likelihood of us getting it here in Mali (I currently have 14 bites, while everyone else has 0-1...yep, i'm probably going to get it) and then we talk about what we would do in case of an Emergency Evacuation, ya know, if like we are in some serious danger due to political unrest and what not!~EEK* aaand then we talk about how lonely our sites are going to be sometimes, and lets not forget we are all taking the Malaria medicine that makes you CRAZY!!~one common side effect is depression! Therefore, with all of this said, a 27 month commitment to the country of Mali seems a bit daunting on the average 22 year old (especially with the most handsome fiance ever at home) Sooooo what do we do in hard times like this, We Look At The Bright Side! What is the bright side? Although we have only been here one week, we have already accomplished so much. First off, we got into an extremely difficult program to become a part of, we have    gotten into the country of Mali and survived a week, AND we have learned how to use the restroom in the nyegens (holes in the ground)...
Tomorrow when i leave for my Home Stay Village (which i will be in for the rest of training <rarely will i have internet, so call me cell>) I will be living with a family all by myself. I will not be able to talk with them, I will be extremely lonely, and I will be sick at time (because Hey, its Africa!) I will remember that I have to take this one step at a time, and although I feel like I have not achieved much yet, I am achieving something just by being here!!*

Just Eating the Culture Up

Not particularly in the blogging mood right now, but since I was not in the blogging mood yesterday either I should probably just suck it up and type!! So far I have not been too sad because I genuinely feel like I am at camp! We are staying in huts with three people to a room, eating together in the cafeteria, and going to sessions throughout the day. During the small amount of time that we are not extremely busy, we are either talking to our loved ones, or the musically talented are playing their instruments and singing (very peacefuL!)
Last night I had the opportunity to Skype with Dad, Mom, Micha, and Jared! I did not realize how significant skype was until last night! Unfortunately when I get off my phone calls (which last like 2min tops) I feel like I didn't really get to say anything, or connect with anyone, so skype (being free and all) is such an amazing tool that I am super glad to have!!
Tonight we got to enjoy a culture festival and of course I took it to the extreme!! I ate all of the good foods, got henna tats up my right arm and on my feet, as well as had my hair BRAIDED!~and yes it looks as bad as it sounds!!  It was really neat because they played the local music and everyone danced! The Malians and us got really into Shakira's 'Africa' song, but when Lady Gaga started playing, all of the Malians dipped out!! lol*
I was asked today where I would prefer to be placed for my two years at site! I said I would rather be in a bigger village (more chance of electricity and markets and such) and around other PCVs! We will see if this happens! I was also asked what region I would like to go to. I was tempted to say Dogon Country, and almost did, however I decided not to because I figured I would be placed wherever is right for me!!

And The Training Begins

Traveling to Mali has been quite an experience, to say the least! France is not really on my good side right now because their airline loves to charge you a ton of money, and my pedicure in the Paris airport was way over charged, but hey that is the French for ya!~JOKING!* I definitely packed to much on this excursion (imagine that) therefore i guess i deserve being charged in every airport i enter! Anyway, on a positive note, I LOVE MALI!! Everything is currently a whirlwind, because training is pretty outrageous, but the people here are soooo nice!! There are more trainers in our compound than there are trainees (only 23 of us) and they are all so welcoming (most of them are Malian)* Today was crazyness!! We toured our compound, had a medical lesson (began my malaria medicine today :( ) had a language lesson (in Bambara), a cultural lesson, and everything in between!!* I miss home, Jared, friends, and family, but I really feel like this is where I need to be right now, and truly feel like I have made a wonderful decision!! The Peace Corps is celebrating there 50th anniversary this year and Mali is celebrating their 40th year with PC, therefore this is an amazing time to be here, and Peace Corps is an amazing thing to be a part of!! ITS HARD AS HECK, but i expected it to be!! This week I am staying in a small hut with another girl my age, and a 60 some year old lady who served in the PC in Nigeria in the 60's!!~i know, WOW!! I'll be here til Wednesday, so expect lots more posts between now and then!!! ALL MY LOVE!!*

Staging

Embarking on this journey is anything but easy. Saying good bye to Jared is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and saying by to little baby Tinners (my puppy) was pretty hard too! Leaving my family and friends and comfortable American lifestyle, at times seems impossible, however here I am. I touched down in DC yesterday morning, and took on my role as a big girl, finding where I was supposed to be all by myself (with like 150 pounds of luggage i might add). Coming to DC has been an amazing experience, because DC is where I have had the opportunity to meet the people that I will be spending my next two years with. These people are very special to me already because they share the exact same dream with me, that I have been awaiting for years. I no longer have to explain why I want to be a PCV or watch people stare at me like i am some crazy person!! These people will be my 'family' for the next couple of years, and I am so thankful that God has placed them in my life!!*...Today we have to go to a clinic and receive our last round of shots (pretty sure i do not have to have anymore though, considering a rabid dog could bite me and i would be fine!!)..and after clinic we are off to the airport, and off to my new home, MALI!!~see you on the other side :)*